The toddler has her days and nights mixed up again. This should come as no surprise since this is the child who didn't sleep at night her entire 1st year of life. And ever since, she cycles around from days to nights and nights to days and then repeats. When she finally rotates around to sleeping at night, my 39 year old body takes about 2 days to catch up, only for her to screw me up again.
Odds are, if you drive by our house in the middle of the night, you'll see lights on as we play games, build with legos, work on her alphabet flashcards and spend endless hours watching Laverne & Shirley reruns. (Yes, that's right, my 3 year old is addicted to Laverne & Shirley. Please don't judge me. I'm too exhausted to defend myself.)
Here's the major problem. I need lots of sleep or bad things happen. And around here, things go downhill fast.
(There are 2 things you need to know before I tell you what happened.)
1. One of the 3 legal drivers in our home recently got a speeding ticket.
2. Last week a plow knocked our mailbox off it's post and it's been buried in 4 feet of snow in the ditch ever since.
(Bear with me, this will all make sense eventually. Or maybe it won't. I can barely think straight to wipe myself these days.)
Anyhoo, 2 nights ago, she slept all night. But I lay awake obsessing that the letter from the municipal court with the certain person's court date lay buried in our ditch, that person would miss he or she's court date, be found in contempt, an arrest warrant would be issued, and jail time would be served. (See why I need sleep?)
So at 7am yesterday morning, dressed in my purple flannel jammies, I headed down our icy driveway armed with a fluorescent green stick with a long string with a tennis ball hanging off one end. (My husband's attempt to help us with batting practice 3 years ago.....2 black eyes later and it's been stored in the garage ever since.) But yesterday it was going to help me find our lost mailbox so down the driveway I marched, followed by our 3 curious cats. I imagine I looked like a cat shepherd if there is such a thing. Many cars drove by and I refuse to let myself wonder if any of them knew me.
Toward the end of the driveway I hit a patch of ice and for several long and awkward seconds I could be seen flailing my long green stick while trying to avoid being hit by the ball and/or landing on a cat. I finally got my footing and we all came away unscathed. (If you don't count my pulled groin and complete loss of dignity.)
I got safely across the road and began pounding my green stick into the deep snow until my left foot gave way and became buried, pulling my ugg boot right off my foot.
I immediately gave up and with frozen snot on my upper lip, I carried my green stick and one snow-filled ugg boot and me and my 3 furry followers slowly made our way back up the long driveway. Suddenly jail time didn't sound so bad after all.
I choose to believe that none of that would have happened if I was well rested. (Yes, I'm blaming the toddler.)
It's 10:45 pm and only she knows what our night will consist of and I'll find out in about 2 hours. She'll either bring me her pillow.....or her flash cards. Wish me luck.
***Just for fun, I'm offering a poll. Which driver in our family got the speeding ticket? If you'd like, cast your vote at the top right of the page.....unless of course the picture has already been featured on America's Most Wanted. Then I suppose that would make a poll unnecessary.
(Poll time has expired. Majority voted for the hubby ;) My lips are sealed....