If you wanna feel better about your family, just read about ours...

Starring: a dad, a mom, a son & daughter-in-law, a daughter & son-in-law, a teen, a tween, a grandson, a granddaughter, 3 dogs, 2 rabbits, 2 dwarf frogs, an unfortunate number of tadpoles, and a whole lot of love.




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Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Jesus Take The Wheel

When I started this blog, I made a promise to each of my family members that I would never publish a post about them without their permission.  Worst mistake of my life.  Believe it or not, there's so much more I could tell you.

Our daughter, A, in particular has a tendency to be on the private reserved side and doesn't always agree with the things the rest of our family thinks is hilarious, therefore rarely grants me permission with events pertaining to her.

All of that being said, I assumed this post would never happen, but then she approached me and negotiated a deal.  Now let's take a peek back at Monday November 5th, shall we?

K goes to a junior high bible study on Monday evenings.  My friend Mandi and I, who live the furthest away, worked out a carpool arrangement.  Last Monday, the arrangement required that K be picked up at Mandi's afterward.  My schedule was crazy that week, so I let A take my van to pick her up and C went along for the ride.

Shortly after they arrived home, I received a text from Mandi that said, "Is there any chance that A hit our car in our driveway?"  My response:  "WHAT?!?!"  Don't get me wrong. As some of you might remember, the front corner of our van is still dented from the time she hit our light pole in our driveway.  So it's not that she's incapable of the occasional driveway hit, but hit and run?!

My husband and I called her from upstairs and everyone, sensing big excitement, came running.  We all met in the foyer where my husband said, "Did you run into Mandi's car in their driveway?"  She immediately said, "No" but our focus turned when C said, "Yes she did."  We turned back to A, "Did you?!" who answered, "No" followed again by C who said, "Yeah she did.  I told her she just hit that car."  My husband stormed outside to check the van and lo and behold, our back fender was scraped up. 

Here's where the chaos began.  I started the interrogation process of trying to get her to admit what she did while she stood there convinced that her rear view mirrors wouldn't lie, but that her younger sister would.  My husband was on the phone with Mandi's husband, George, apologizing profusely.  And C stood at the top of the foyer stairs, with her arms crossed, calmly repeating, "Let's call the police."  
She does not like to be called a liar.

By the end of the evening the crisis had passed.  A's punishment was handed down, plans for retribution were made and we all went to bed.  By morning, 5 of our 6 family members were laughing about the situation.  We call it coping skills.  I approached A and as sweetly as I could asked if I had her permission to blog it.  I didn't even get my sentence out before she screamed, "NO!"  I guess I should have seen that coming.   

So I didn't blog it.  But she never said anything about not writing a song.  Since she finally agreed to allow me to blog this, I wonder if she'd be on board for a music video spoof on YouTube?  Z could wear a blond wig and star as A, my husband could play Jesus in the passenger seat and we could throw in a little auto-tuning of C saying, "Let's call the police"...aaahhh...the possibilities are endless. 

To the tune:  Jesus Take The Wheel

 She was driving on a Monday it was cold and partly sunny
and she didn’t take her CRV.
Going south to George & Mandi’s in my favorite mini-vanny
With her sister in the backseat

No more miles to go, she was safely stowed
in their driveway.
But don’t speak too soon...

She had nothin on her mind but she didn't pay attention
She was going way too fast
Before she knew what she was doing she was going in reverse
when she scraped my mini’s ass.

She didn’t bat an eye or take the time to cry,
she simply drove away.
She wasn’t even scared.
I think her hands were in the air

Jesus, take the wheel
Take it from her hands
Cause she can't do this on her own
She keeps letting go
and bashing up my van!
on every single driveway she’s on
Jesus, take the wheel

We were none the wiser when I got the text from Mandi,
“Did your daughter hit our car?”
She had a blank stare when we asked her and she quickly gave an answer,
“From my mirror it looked afar.”

Who’s this girl of mine right before my eyes,
and did she never hear?
That objects in the mirror,
are always closer than they appear....

Jesus, take the wheel
Take it from her hands
Cause she can't do this on her own
She keeps letting go
and bashing up my van!
on every single driveway she’s on...
Oh Jesus, take the wheel
Oh, take it, take it from her.
Oh, why, ooh


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