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Monday, April 2, 2012

March MAD-ness Part II....The Conclusion

When last I'd left you, a friend and I were Carb-Free on Day 3 of the S.O.B, aka; the very strict 14 day South Beach Red Zone, and my husband had hidden my scale. Throw in an experiment to not eat anything after dinner in honor of Lent and I was well on my way to a Psyche Ward.

My original plan to survive without a scale was to have my husband take a picture of me every day wearing shorts and a sports bra in hopes that I would see my body melt away as the days passed. Besides the obvious humiliation of asking my husband to take my "Before" pictures dressed like a Biggest Loser contestant, they only served to make matters worse. How is looking at pictures of my boobs stuffed into a uni-bra flopped over saggy belly skin with my face looking like a Lindsay Lohan mug shot, helpful? It's not.

That phase ended about the same time the Tylenol PM phase began. Yes, that's right. I was medicating myself to sleep as a survival technique.

So far so good on my journey to better health.

On Day 5, I resorted to sneaking next door to use my neighbor's bathroom scale, much to the shock of their unsuspecting cleaning lady. Not my best moment. I'm sure it wasn't her's, either.

So on Day 6, my friend and I decided enough was enough and made some changes, starting with cutting the Red Zone down to 7 days and then moving onto the Yellow Zone, which allows the reintroduction of healthy carbs and is a much more reasonable way of life. Also, my husband gave me my scale back, if not for me, but for the sake of the relationship with our neighbor and their cleaning lady. I quit the sleeping pills cold turkey and I wasn't mad anymore. Fruit and yogurt bring me peace.

Which brings me to my update and the things I learned about myself throughout this process:

I lost 9 pounds in 2 weeks, there's a reason I don't practice Lent and I'm merely one Red Zone away from an over-the-counter drug addiction.

As for my relationship with my scale....touch it and die.

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