1. Angry; resentful.
2. Suffering from a disorder of the mind; insane.
3. Temporarily or apparently deranged by violent sensations, emotions, or ideas.4. Lacking restraint or reason; foolish
Many of you know the history of my battle with weight. But you might not know that there's a mindset that naturally goes along with that and your brain can be a very powerful and manipulative organ. Although I lost the majority of my weight 10 years ago, my mind continues to have the ability to tell me I've gained it all back overnight. And I believe it. I'm not proud of this weakness in myself, but it is what it is.
Therefore, several years ago, I began weighing myself every single morning, down to the ounce, and writing it in RED on the family calendar for all to see. It keeps me accountable and it keeps me grounded and it's a visual reminder to my brain that I did not gain 100 lbs yesterday.
A friend and I recently decided that we'd like to lose 10 lbs together. Then I made a big mistake and sent this text: "Let me know if you wanna get radical with it."
Definition of Radical:
Departing from the usual or customary; extreme:
Radical started with texting each other our weight each morning. Trust me when I tell you, I'm on the embarrassing end of that radical movement.
With the start of Lent, Radical morphed into giving up any food after dinner. Oh crap. This is tough, but I lost 5 lbs within the first week, so I arrogantly assumed that I would meet my goal weight by the end of Lent. Wrong. I not only hit a plateau, but actually gained 2 lbs back and stayed there.
That's when my friend took Radical to a whole new level. Enter the South Beach Diet. (Or, as it's since been referred, the SOB.) Her convincing argument: "It says we can lose 8-12 lbs in the first 14 days, so we only have to make it through that and we'll be at our goal!"
Yes! Sounds great! We can do anything for 14 days! And in a moment I can only chalk up to as pure insanity, I suggested we also go the 14 days without weighing ourselves and I told my husband to hide my scale. For once in the history of our marriage, he actually did what I told him to do.
And with that, our new Radical Movement was in place: No scales. 14 day SOB. Finish out Lent. Start date: March 18th. Coincidentally, the same as my period. Let the games begin.
So here's where I stand on Day 3:
I'm starving. All the time. My family has gotten a glimpse of what kind of contestant I'd be on Survivor. My kids said I'd be the first one voted off the island. My husband said I'd be the first in the history of the show to eat a fellow contestant. I think they're all correct.
I'm sick of meat. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I cannot survive by meat alone. Yes, the SOB allows salad. That's awesome....for SOMEONE WHO LIKES SALAD!!!!
I'm mad. (Choose from any and/or all of the above definitions.)
And on that note, I WANT MY F-ING SCALE BACK!!! I've frantically searched our house, garage and barn. I've begged him. I've cried. I've pleaded on my knees. (Literally) Finally, last night, when I straddled him and pinned his arms above his head in a moment of blind fury he said, "Look at yourself. Your scale is a drug."
That's when I was hit with two reality checks.
1. He's absolutely right. My scale is my drug.
2. I. Don't. Care.
They say "That which does not kill us makes us stronger." With eleven days to go, it's too soon to predict how this journey with my friend, a missing scale, Lent and an SOB will end. So for now, we'll just say, To Be Continued.....