How Sanctus Real almost ruined our weekend

Okay, maybe this Christian band isn't solely responsible for our disastrous weekend.....let's just blame their song, "Lead Me." For those who are unfamiliar with this song, you might want to check it out on You Tube. (Or if you don't want a fight with your hubby, don't.)

Here's the chorus to give you the gist of what I'm talking about. It's a wife's pleading words to her husband:

“Lead me with strong hands

Stand up when I can't

Don't leave me hungry for love

Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight

That I'm still the love of your life

I know we call this our home

But I still feel alone”

I don't care how strong your marriage is, I don't know of any wife who hasn't secretly glared at her husband or a husband who hasn't cringed when this song comes on the radio. Don't get me wrong, it's a beautiful song with an amazing message. But let's be honest here, Sanctus Real set us all up for failure with this little gem.

It started a couple weeks ago when this song came on the radio in the van. My husband, who is notorious for not listening to words but simply the melody, commented how he likes the song. I asked him if he'd ever listened to the words. And his response was, "Yes and I assume this is how you feel, right?" (Rrrrr.....) And a seed of resentment was planted.

Fast forward to Friday night when things started to rise to a boil. Without going into too much detail, (mainly because it doesn't exactly paint a flattering image of me, but whatever) an argument took place in front of 2 of our children. As is usually the case, this argument that had been building inside me for weeks never did address the real issue. Instead we argued about the pros and cons of bumping vs. setting during co-ed volleyball. Wow. Talk about being derailed.

And we went to bed angry. Bad idea. Because that means, I wake up angry, too. And this time for Round II, I didn't mince words and went straight to the core......(insert devil voice here)....."Lead me, d***it!!!"

Now there's a welcoming invitation for him to step up and take control. Yikes. I scared the crap out of him and he left for work with a deer-in-the-head-lights look on his face and practically squealed out of the driveway.

I was left in the quiet of the house to receive the God-scolding I totally deserved. How is my husband supposed to lead someone like me? My family's motto was "You can't tell ME what to do!" Yeah, that's real approachable.

The conclusion God brought me to is that I can't change anyone else and it's not my job to try. The only thing within my control is to allow God to change me. Maybe if everyone approached life with that motto, we'd have less judging & feuding and more acceptance and loving? Just a thought.

Regardless, I was left with a husband with hurt feelings, at my own hand. (Or should I say mouth.) And I can't live with that. So I got in the car, drove to his work and left him a note on the front seat of his car, apologizing profusely and promising him cheesecake (and other stuff I'll omit from this blog) when he gets home.

I'm relieved to report that everything is fine now. We haven't discussed the issue anymore. We've silently moved on. Lesson learned. (And May Sanctus Real be a little more careful when writing beautiful heart-felt marriage songs in the future.) I've gone back to focusing on my issues and he's gone back to not listening to the words of songs. That seems to work out best for everyone.

One thing that still bothers me a tiny bit, though. He never has mentioned that note I left in his car. And there were several cars exactly like his in the half-full parking lot. Which leads me to wonder who exactly received my written promises of cheesecake.....and the other stuff? Uh oh.

**I'm a huge fan of Sanctus Real. So please don't send me hate mail.**

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Praying for Joanne

I recently became aware of a fellow blogger named Joanne Heim. Joanne is 38 years old and just celebrated her 19th anniversary with her husband, Toben. They have 2 daughters, Audrey (12) and Emma (9). She and her family recently moved back to their home town of Denver where Joanne spends her day homeschooling their daughters, authoring Christian Bible Studies, going to Seminary, running, and from the looks of her blog, enjoying life in general.

On Tuesday January 11th, Joanne built a fire in their fireplace at 5am....and subsequently discovered that her smoke alarms work. That was Joanne's final tweet. Shortly thereafter, one of her daughters found her convulsing in their basement from a stroke.

They removed a large part of her skull and she's in a very deep medically induced coma to try to control the swelling. They have no idea what the future holds. They don't know if she'll wake up. They have no idea what condition she'll be in if/when she does.

To say that this family's life has come to a screeching halt is an understatement. I've spent the past couple of days scouring her blog and quietly peeking into the daily life of a woman who clearly had no idea everything was about to change. How could she?

This isn't the first sad blogger story I've read and it certainly won't be my last, unfortunately. But this one grabbed me. She could be me. No, I don't home school. I'm not in Seminary. I'm not the author of Christian Bible Studies and I certainly don't run for sport. But she's my age! She's head over heels in love with her husband of 19 years! She's got children she loves and who depend on her! She blogs! She tweets! And she sets off the smoke alarms when she's trying to start a fire for her family in the morning.....right before she has a stroke. She could be me. And like it or not, she could be you.

Please pray for Joanne and her family. And please don't take one minute with yours for granted.

Feel free to click on Joanne's picture at the very top of my page to go visit her blog. Her husband and close friend have been updating on her condition there. But once you get past that you'll find entries from a young mom. A mom who was enjoying life and living it to the fullest. A mom who has plans. A mom whose dining room table is cluttered with Christmas decorations and a tree she decided to leave up and decorate for Valentine's Day. And of a family who got unexpectedly swept onto a different path and who are claiming Psalm 46 because despite everything, they still cling to their Savior.

I want to be that kind of mom.

Psalm 46

¹ God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
² Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
³ though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.^c]">[c]

⁴ There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.
⁵ God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.
⁶ Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

⁷ The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.

⁸ Come and see what the LORD has done,
the desolations he has brought on the earth.
⁹ He makes wars cease
to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the shields^d]">[d] with fire.
¹⁰ He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”

¹¹ The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.

A Stay-At-Home-Moms Snow Storm Time Line

A snow storm is coming! How do we know? Because we stay-at-home moms who spend thankless hours monitoring Facebook are spreading the word.

This is our time. These are the moments we stay-at-homers live for. It's called snow days, people. These are the times the Proverbs 31 woman in us finally makes an appearance. (Snow days & when the bus driver calls informing you that your daughter just vomited on the kid sitting next to her.....again.) We're nothing if not prepared for these unexpected breaks in our routine. So for those who don't know, this is how the snow storm plays out:

The calm before the storm......
Okay. We've heard the news on Doppler Facebook and it's time to snap into action. Hopefully, you're one of the lucky few who has already gone to the grocery before ever hearing of the storm. I'm pleased to report that I fall into that category this time and was able to avoid losing my testimony at Walmart while fighting over loaves of bread. (Um, not that that's ever happened, mind you, but I digress.) The cupboards are stocked so let's begin.

Step 1: clean the entire house right down to mopping the floors. Why? I don't know. But it's important that you do it. Step 2: Clean the 9 inches of built up ash out of the fireplace while mumbling under your breath that you've been asking your husband to do that for weeks. Step 3: Call and cancel the much needed hair appointment that is inevitably scheduled for the day of the storm. (Insert more mumbling under your breath.)

The big event......
You wake up that morning to beautiful snow already beginning to fall. Your husband is at work and you've received the call from the school that your children will be sent home early:

Step 1: Build a roaring fire and stock a pile of wood beside the fireplace to save a trip out in the snow later. (While wearing pajamas & risking the toddler locking you outside thus forcing you to traipse barefoot to the front of your house and break into your own home while praying nobody calls the cops. Go figure how I know this.) Step 2: Put a pot of something on the stove. It doesn't matter what, as long as it smells good. (ie; spaghetti sauce or home-made soup is always the item of choice around here.) Step 3: Bake things and serve them with hot chocolate. That's mandatory. Things must be baked during a snow storm, with or without the help of the children. I choose without, but whatever. Step 4: Wait nervously by the door with cell phone in hand until your husband arrives home from work safely. Step 5: As the inches of snow steadily climb outside, enjoy movies and boardgames as a family. Step 6: While the kids hole up in the rec room to enjoy an all-nighter with high hopes of a cancelation the next day, you attempt to squeeze those extra holiday pounds into a special nightie for your hubby. Step 7: Amidst a string of profanity, throw the tiny nightie back in the drawer, make the room pitch black and hope for the best.

Snowed in......
School is canceled and your husband is home from work. The fire has died at some point in the middle of the night and you awake to a stream of frozen drool running down your cheek. Or maybe it's snot. Who cares at that point.

Step 1: Scrape off your cheek. Step 2: Rebuild the fire. Step 3: Tip toe around as quietly as possible in hopes that your children don't wake up before noon while noticing that they've trashed the house. Step 4: When they wake up and ask to play outside in the snow, readily agree, and then stand inside the door and take a few pictures of them from the warmth of your house. Step 5: Re-mop the floors when they come back inside trailing the snow behind them. (Profanity optional) Step 6: When they ask what's for dinner, tell them there's lunch meat in the fridge and when they roll their eyes, remind them of the children around the world who would be thankful to have lunch meat in the fridge. Step 7: Dive into your secret stash of chocolates in hopes of soothing your nerves from all the fighting. Step 8: Put the children (and husband) to bed in hopes that a miraculous thaw will happen overnight and that the big yellow bus will once again stop at the end of your driveway.

Finally, and most importantly, you must then sit down to post an entry on your Facebook, documenting each loving detail of how much fun you had on your snow day, post the pics of your fun in the snow "together" and mention how much you're looking forward to another storm real soon.

Image is everything, people. We are the stay-at-home moms.

Just in case you wanted my opinion: My review of Wii Dance games

The Wii is relatively new to our family, having only had ours for a year. My refusal to buy into hype and refusal to wait in line for a limited amount of hype means we're always a year or two behind the hype. My understanding of the Wii was that it was intended to get lazy kids off the couch and be required to at least stand while playing the games and being occasionally asked to swing an arm or two while bowling or playing tennis. Cool.

What I didn't know was that you could actually get a serious kick-butt workout on your Wii. My first realization of that was when the girls asked if I wanted to Wii Hula Hoop. Ten minutes later my obliques were burning and so began my journey of Wii cardio.

Last winter my Wii workouts were taken to a new level of interest when a friend, Jessica, loaned me her Wii Just Dance! Thirty plus dances to such hits as Can't Touch This, Pump Up The Jam, and Who Let The Dogs Out. My inner cheerleader was tapped and dance off competitions became the norm at our house. K and I have been known to dance the entire collection in one evening. That makes for 2 hours of dancing with the shadow figures while sweating away the pounds. (Occasionally with hand and ankle weights for an added level of torture.) Wii Just Dance: A+

This year we wanted something new. I noticed that they had a Wii Just Dance II, but I was also intrigued by the Wii Gold's Gym Dance Workout and went with that. After 10 minutes of following along with a robotic avatar instructor while barely being able to hear Lady Gaga sing her song and I was done. Wii Gold's Gym Dance Workout: D (The only thing keeping me from failing it completely is the fact that K seems to like her ridiculous avatar instructor, therefore it's not a complete waste of money.)

Then I heard that Wii has Zumba. I've never done Zumba but I'm growing increasingly interested in it. My friend, Gina, was kind enough to loan me hers yesterday to help avoid another Wii Gold's Gym disastrous purchase.

Wii Zumba comes with a belt to hold the remote and free up your hands. Not completely necessary but a nice feature.

Yesterday afternoon, Z and I set out to conquer the world of Zumba and were determined to complete 3 twenty minute routines in a row. After the first 3 minutes, they congratulated us on completing the warm up. Warm up?!? We were panting. We were almost finished with our first workout when we realized the goal was to keep our shadow figure green as opposed to different colors. That would explain our really really low scores the first round.

During the 2nd workout, Z was breathing too hard to say "That's what she said" every time I'd say, "I can't take it anymore." But since he and I are way to competitive for our own good, we forced ourselves to complete the full hour even when we both lost feeling in our arms and Z started seeing stars whenever he'd shimmy. (Note of warning on the shimmies: Wear a really good sports bra....or two.)

During the course of this experiment, I had to tighten my Zumba belt twice. I choose to believe that was because of all the inches of fat I was losing by the minute. My hair was wet with sweat and I may have temporarily regained feeling in my toe that's been numb for 2 years. (Long story.) And I'm beginning to suspect I might have a little Latin in this Italian bloodline of mine because I kind of rock at Zumba, if I do say so myself. Wii Zumba: A+

I guess what I've come to realize is that the Wii isn't just for lazy kids. It's for lazy adults too. And exercise doesn't have to mean an hour of walking in place on a conveyor belt. It can actually mean playing with your kids....with or without hand and ankle weights, which I do not recommend with Zumba unless you plan on wearing a 3rd sports bra.

(And as an added bonus, I feel somewhat prepared should I ever take an interest in going clubbing on the weekends.)

Christmas traditions that should be carried on, and a few that shouldn't.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from my family to yours. I hope you're enjoying these final days of 2010 with sweet memories of your recent Christmas celebrations and with excitement for the year to come.

We're finding ourselves still talking about what a relaxing Christmas we had this year and contemplating the things we'll do the same next year....and of course the things we'll do differently.

When Z was born we decided to get each of our kids a Christmas tree ornament each year so that when they had their own Christmas tree one day, they'd have a collection of memorable ornaments to take with them. Needless to say, with four kids, our tree is packed full and I love it! +

This year we put up our Christmas tree before Thanksgiving which motivated us to get all of the shopping and wrapping done early too. We had everything completed and were able to completely enjoy the weeks leading up to Christmas. +)

I used my awesome new cell phone to create a file of all the kids gifts so that I could conveniently mark and track them without keeping lists lying around. Z found the files while playing Solitaire on that awesome phone. (X)

We took the kids out to buy Christmas gifts for each other and they were responsible for wrapping them and putting them under the tree. (+)

C unwrapped the edges and told everyone what they were getting. (X)

All of our family visits happened on Christmas Eve this year. My family came over in the afternoon and my husband's family came over in the evening for Euchre tournaments. (+)

We nicknamed Christmas Eve "Binge-mas" and loaded up on all the treats we don't allow ourselves throughout the year. (+)

I didn't take into account that we'd be stuck with a ton of leftovers....we're currently on day #7 of "Binge-mas" and my jeans tell the whole story of how well that's working out. (X)

We forgot to dismantle the mouse trap before we gave K her coveted Zhu Zhu Pet. Not near as traumatic as when I was a child and my parents got my sister and me two live hamsters and forgot to lock our cat up before they went to bed Christmas Eve night. We woke up to "Duffy" munching away on "Mork" and "Mindy" Christmas morning. Merry Christmas to us. (X)

My husband read 'Twas the night before Christmas' to his whole family before they left. (+)

He didn't wear his glasses, therefore mispronounced most of the words, accidentally added a few inappropriate ones and couldn't stop giggling when he had to read the word "breast." (X)

Santa came early this year! By midnight we were gathered in A's room singing Happy Birthday to Jesus and praying together before heading downstairs for all the fun. We crashed around 4am and slept till whenever we wanted. (+)

We hid K's bike and C's battery operated police car in our bedroom to surprise them. (+)

My husband forgot and sent K in to get a pair of scissors. We both realized what happened when we heard her screams of delight....immediately followed by my husband receiving his first death glare of the day. (X)

Then he thought it would be hilarious to pull out a scary mask that sent C screaming and running....straight into our bedroom. Followed by squeel of delight when she saw her police car. Death glare #2. (X)

Christmas breakfast consisted of boxes of Schulers donuts and a hot chocolate buffet with all the fixins, complete with chocolate covered marshmellows on the ends of candy canes to stir with. (+)

Before going to bed, Z spent five hours putting together his giant Kinex roller coaster. (+)

When he discovered it was too big for his room, he opted to put it together in the middle of our breakfast table.....it's still there.....(X)

Christmas day was spent in our jammies playing, napping and gathered together in our bed to watch Toy Story 3 and Ramona & Beezus. (+)

While my husband worked, the kids and I managed to get up for church the day after Christmas. (+)

We got stuck in the snow at the end of somebody's driveway along the way. (X)

That afternoon we all met back at home for our ham dinner made complete by my Grandma's cheesy potatoes. Comfort food, packed with memories, with my husband and kids around the table. (+)

As you can see, the positives outweigh the negatives. Barely, but whatever. We've definitely discovered traditions that will carry on and we encountered a few things we'll rethink next time. All in all, our Christmas weekend was filled with blessings, family and fun.

And something we discovered a long time ago: X's make for some lasting memories.....

Okay, your turn! Let's hear your traditions. The old, the new, and especially the X's!

From "Pity" to "Surprise".....ya gotta love a party.

I turned 39 last week. Let me tell you something about turning 39.....it sucks. And it all started with a simple question from my husband a few weeks ago that went something like this:

"I was thinking about throwing you a surprise party this year, but decided not to. Would you have liked it?"

What the heck is that? Who makes an announcement like that and then bothers to ask if you would have liked it?!? And with that, my downward emotional spiral began.....as did a new obsession with wearing thick white face moisturizer to bed each night, made worse by my husband's facial expression and his second question of the month to send me spiraling: "Crap. Are you entering that phase of life?" (Some men should not be allowed to ask their wives questions.)

For 3 weeks, I threw myself a kick-butt pity party. It was huge. Getting bothered each time my husband would seem surprised at the mention of my approaching birthday and hearing that Z and A signed up for an all-night Christmas party with the church youth group on my actual birthday. (What kind of youth group celebrates Christmas in December?!? Come on!) I spent countless hours in the bathroom studying my face closely in the mirror....with tweezers in hand. And spent way too much (wasted) time contemplating the people who don't acknowledge my birthday anymore. Do I know how to throw a party, or what?

I wasn't miserable the entire time. Similar to a heart monitor that has a flat line running across it with occasional spikes indicating signs of life. I had plenty of spikes. My in-laws came over for dinner, cake and games a couple days before my birthday. (Spike!) My husband took me and our 2 youngest to dinner at Texas Roadhouse on my actual day, made complete by getting to straddle the saddle while everyone in the restaurant yelled, "Yee Haw!!" while bordering on being embarrassed and secretly relishing every minute of it. (Spike!) The following day, the girls and I joined my Aunt & Uncle to see the movie 'Tangled.' (Spike!) A lunch date with my sister Susan. (Spike!)

In the meantime, my husband was working away planning a massive surprise. Lots of secret phone calls, passing out fliers and buying and stashing away bags and bags of snacks and drinks kept hidden in the back of his car.

All I knew was that my best friend from massage school sent me a message a few weeks ago demanding a double date for the 17th. (Spike!) We love getting together with them and I blindly jumped at her invite. It would take too long to tell you the many lies that my husband and children told me over the past few weeks but I will tell you that it worries me how really good they are at it.

Normally a double date with Andy and Lissa lasts well into the night, so when they wolfed down their food like animals and I hadn't even swallowed my last bite when my husband said, "Well, we better get going," I was stunned. After he practically bolted from the restaurant to get the car, I turned to Lissa and offered up the only explanation that came to mind: "Maybe he has diarrhea."

I got in the car and his erratic driving began. Slow. Really fast. Slow. Really fast. I said, "What the heck is wrong with you?" Then he offered up the only explanation that popped into his head: "I slow down when I see Christmas lights I like." (Yikes. Somebody's been hittin the eggnog.) What I didn't know was that Andy and Lissa were following us to the next stop and he was trying to make sure they were behind us while still trying to make it to the party we were late to.

Next stop: Our church. His story: To pick up the generator he loaned for the Christmas parade. The problem: There's currently a situation with thieves in the neighborhood stealing batteries from cars. My question: "Will anybody be there? If not, I'll stay in the car and protect the battery." His response (Lie number I-lost-count): "People will be there practicing the Christmas play." Me: "We're having a Christmas play?!?" Him: "Yep." (I need to read the bulletin more often.)

But the problem arose when we pulled into the parking lot and there were no cars (all parked in the back), the church was pitch black and the front door was wide open. My first thought: "THIEVES!!!" and not only was I refusing to go in but was considering calling 911. He was finally able to talk me out of the car and I fought thoughts of disgust when he pushed me in front to go in first. (Nice protector.)

I can't remember what went through my mind when the lights flipped on and our 3 year old came bolting out of the bathroom! And there in the foyer stood our children and 60 wonderful friends and extended family members yelling surprise and singing happy birthday to me. (SPIKE! SPIKE! SPIKE! And we have a heartbeat, ladies and gentlemen!) And an awesome volleyball tournament ensued for the rest of the evening!!

As an added bonus, he asked my sister Susan, who made our wedding cake 18 years ago (when she was only 16, mind you) to make the cakes and he even remembered and requested she use our wedding colors again....Black & Teal.

Moral of the story:
1. Give that hubby of mine a lot more credit! (And try to forgive the fact that he told everyone it was my 40th.)
2. I am loved.
3. Don't be so quick to throw the pity party. Playing the martyr is miserable for everyone involved.
4. Keep using that face cream. My skin has never felt so fabulous.

Thank you to all of the wonderful people in my life who shared the evening with me! I love you all!

Lessons I've learned the hard way

1. Don't touch dry ice with your bare fingers.

2. Think it through before you "get something off your chest" to someone you love. The 2 minutes you'll feel justified isn't worth the permanent damage you've done in the process. You can take the nail out of the fence but the hole will still be there.

3. Not many people are worth the fight.

4. People will always let each other down. I am no exception so allow me this opportunity to make a mass apology.

5. If you're looking for self-worth in anything but Jesus Christ, you'll always come up feeling empty.

6. If money is your primary focus you'll never believe you have enough.

7. Never pray for patience.

8. Satan will use the misery of others to steal your joy. Be ready for it.

9. Babies aren't the only ones capable of getting their days and nights mixed up. Toddlers possess that same talent for screwing with you.

10. If the toddler and the dog are left alone in a room with wrapping paper and tape, the dog will eventually be re-gifted.

11. Don't bother starting a diet in January until all the leftovers are gone.

12. If you Google diseases you'll most assuredly come down with the symptoms.

13. Our jobs as moms is to love our children unconditionally and expect nothing in return.

14. I shouldn't push the cart in Menards...or Lowes.

15. You should never let your baby sleep in your bed unless you're ready to sacrifice the middle for the next 3 years. We made that mistake 4 out of 4 times....five if we have another baby. (Some mistakes are worth repeating.)

16. There are people who have high expectations of how they should be treated without giving a second thought to treating you the exact opposite.

17. When watching your toddler's gymnastics class and another mom asks 'Which one is yours?' don't be surprised if yours chooses that exact moment to start picking her nose with one hand and her wedgie with the other.

18. In the world of Facebook, people will defriend you. Go ahead and assume it was 'something you said.'

19. After seeing the movie 'Tangled' I realize it's possible to be attracted to the leading man in a cartoon. I'm not saying it's not creepy....just that it's possible.....

20. When a grown man and a teenage boy encounter a mouse on the stairs, you'll hear what sounds like the screams of two little girls. Don't lose respect. They can't help themselves.

21. A German Shepherd is capable of pulling an entire pot of chili off of the stove.

22. There's no way to manipulate the numbers on a digital scale in the doctors office.

23. The queen is fine....but beware of her mother.

24. When you have a husband and a teenage son you will eventually find yourself saying, "That's what she said" and giggling at ball humor. Embrace it.

25. Sarcasm isn't always appreciated....but that should never stop you.